That said...safety is always top of mind. Sure when I was younger and had only myself to think about I was careless. I would met men in non-public places, I would have them pick me up where I lived, etc. But these days, that mess is a NO, NO!! Not only because I have a child, but because people are CRAZY...does it seem like everyone has lost their damn minds, or what?!?!
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I joined a dating website. I male friend of mine mentioned it to me, and although he was not having good luck with the women he was meeting from there, I thought maybe the men were worth checking out. Plus, its been a slow summer, and I was bored.
I logged in, setup my profile and waited...I read every message I received (I'm not saying I responded to all of them, but I definitely read them). Just when I thought this site was full of child-molesteresque looking guys and those who look like they have someone locked in the basement...along comes Terry.
Terry seemed like a good guy...good looking, but not beautiful, humble, smart and very nice. We sent message back and forth for a few days, and then we exchanged phone numbers. We had many conversations over the next week or so...getting to know each other along the way. He made me laugh...(that's the way to get me for sure!)
Last Sunday, I'd decided that I was ready to meet him, but before I go on a date with anyone, I do a few checks...this is where the safety part comes in ladies!!!
Google is the first step, I put in his first, middle and last names...Nothing. A little weird I thought, but nothing to be shocked about. Some people don't come up in Google searches.
So then I went to Zaba Search, the White Pages, and Pipl.com...Nothing again! Hmmm, now I'm really suspicious. I searched Google for the name of the company he said he owned...Nothing. What company doesn't have a website? THERE AREN'T ANY!
I had one more avenue to try...as we had been chatting on the phone, I had his cell phone number. I paid $5.00 to do a reverse number search, and I'm glad I did. The number was listed to someone named Steve (Not Terry). What was interesting is that the middle and last names he gave me where the same. Damn, what have I gotten myself into? I put Steve's name into Google...wow! There's "Steve" on Facebook, Myspace, even Twitter! And guess what??!! The pics of him on those sites were not of the same guy on the dating website. They looked very similiar, but definitely not the same guy.
Not being someone who avoids conflict or pussy-foots around, I called him, and explained what I found...Here's what he said...
"I was going to write you an email explaining everything before things went any further. I am Steve and Terry is my friend who is cheating on his wife. He asked that I set up a profile using his pictures and information, but I would monitor all of the prospects. If I found someone I liked, we would talk on the phone for a few minutes to see if they would be an easy lay for Terry, then I would pass her off to him. But, I never passed on your number because we had a connection. Everything we talked about was real, you were talking to me. Do you hate me?" (Blah, Blah, Blah...yeah, everything was real...except everything WASN'T real).
My response..."Nope, I don't hate you, but we will never speak again." End of conversation.
So...I called Nikki aka The Flirty 40s, to tell her of my latest and greatest dating drama. She asked me if I had checked him out on the state courts website...why no, I hadn't. In all my research I didn't know about this site?!?! Nice. As she enters Steve's name into the website, all she can say is "Girl, stay away from him!"
This "man" had a LONG LIST of arrests & judgements. Including, but not limited to: Time spent in PRISON for Terroristic Treats and Stalking & time spent in PRISON for theft. Let us not forget that he owes $20,000 in child support on which he has not paid a dime!!
Moral of the story...know the men you are meeting and dating!!! And if a man gets offended because I checked up on him...then he is not the man for me.
Some people may call this research excessive...You be the judge!!
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